Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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