i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
