two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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