Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
