we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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