im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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