Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize