it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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