Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
