My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
