i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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