Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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