Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
