I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
