like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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