I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize