I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
