So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
