i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
