I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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