Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I licked your asshole in confidence.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
