I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
