Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The ass gains better be worth it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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