My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
