there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
