Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
