I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You pole danced in your parka.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
