escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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