Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
