Tell her she can't have a vagina
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
