Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
