Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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