you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
