you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
