Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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