youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
