Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
