Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
