When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
