am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
