its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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