I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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