One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
