I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
