Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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