it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
