I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
