Small penises have feelings too.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
