they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
