There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
