Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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