i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
