so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
