This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
