If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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