So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
