he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
