yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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