alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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