this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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