I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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