Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
