JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize