somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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