My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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