oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
as a side note pls kill me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
