...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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