No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
