Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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