i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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