I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
