i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
