two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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