it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
