do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize