for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
